Video games are so weird. Hey you just killed a giant goat man, have a pair of shoes you’re not intelligent enough to wear.
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"my son," i say fondly to a 500lb krogan wielding a shotgun bigger than my head. "my beautiful son."
I don’t curse people, I bless everyone around them.
it sucks when you have a bad teacher for a subject you’re genuinely interested in
"I’m a soldier. I volunteered. I’m not walking away." Rita Vrataski, Angel of Verdun & Full Metal Bitch
baby: f… f… f…
dad: father? are you trying to say father?
baby: 4 2 0 S K E L E T O N C O L L E C T I V E
dad: shit yeah
*the baby hits the blunt and its flesh begins to melt away revealing its transcended skeletal form as an awesome guitar riff plays from nowhere*
today this guy told me that my dress made my ass look fat (he sad it as a 'compliment') and obviously since it was 8:30 I was too tired for that shit and I replied with 'saying my ass is fat wont make your dick any bigger' and when he tried to defend himself saying his dick was big enough I told him that it doesn’t count if he shoved two thirds of it in his personality and he just looked at me completely defenseless AND BASICALLY I STOLE THAT LINE FROM HERE BUT I SLAYED
Sergeant Rita Vrataski (Emily Blunt) - The Edge of Tomorrow